Essay Concerns
1. Did I talk enough about the actual design of the phone?
2. Should I compare it more to other phones to relay the message to the reader?
3. Does everything I mentioned say enough about how the phone reflects our culture as well as the identity and values?
2. Should I compare it more to other phones to relay the message to the reader?
3. Does everything I mentioned say enough about how the phone reflects our culture as well as the identity and values?
posted by Brittney Queen at
7:06 AM
1 Comments:
1.) Yes, I think you described the phone well and did so by comparing it to other phones also in your third paragraph.
2.) I think your comparisons in size and the particular features that only Nextel has worked really well even without choosing a specific phone to compare it to. You did specifically compare its looks to the razor too, which was effective. If you wanted to add another comparison, maybe when you are talking about the price of the phone and how this gives Nextel owners a wealthy image, you could pick a certain phone to compare it too in price. But I think you did well comparing it.
3.) I think your overall analysis of how this phone reflects America's cultural values and change in economic and technological growth is good. The only place I could see you adding this idea to is maybe when you describe the specific features of the phone. You talk about the digital clock display and speakerphone and stuff like that. You could add how each of these specific features would benefit the person you think the phone is targeted to or American culture. Other than that, I don't really see how else you could add this idea better than you already did.
By
Melanie, At
March 6, 2008 at 7:22 AM
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